The mourning following the death of a child is very painful for parents and everyone who was part of that child’s life. Being responsible for a child and its protection, they have a sense of failure and relate to themselves with a tremendous sense of guilt.

In addition, most parents see their children an extension of themselves and bring them to their own aspirations. The death becomes the end of their secret desires of continuity and carries with it a death of part of themselves. Here are some points to remember if you live with mourning a child.

The intensity and duration of mourning depends on the relationship you had with your child. Each person is unique; they felt and saw things in their own way, in connection with the child’s personality. Given that grief is expressed differently in each of us, it happens that some misunderstanding often occur and causes a distance between the parents.

If you have difficulty accepting that the other can live with their grief in their own way, then you develop a communication problem, which may get worse. In such a situation, using a third party can be very useful.

Following the intensity of the pain experienced, it happens that one of the spouses may come to believe that the other is responsible for the death of the child, no matter how far away that is, compared to the facts. This feeling does not necessarily translate into words and may even be unconscious; however, we can see a lot of impatience and irritability aimed towards the “guilty” party.

Periods of intense pain and relapse are not always corresponding between spouses. When one is climbing up the slope out of grief, the other may be going through a particularly difficult period. This lack of synchronization causes the impression of being in constant pain. To avoid falling into the suffering, spouses may eventually want to avoid each other in these difficult periods.

The death of a child is disrupting the lives of the couple in every way. Again, it is important to maintain communication or consult a professional if necessary. If you have other children, especially does not forget, that they also suffer from this devastating loss and feel guilty.

You will probably need to talk about your deceased child, but do not compare that child to those who remain. It is important that everyone can keep their identity without it feeling diminished to the point where they regret being alive.

The mourning of a woman who suffered a miscarriage is not considered as such by today’s society. The woman is therefore confined in silence, to live with “failure” and guilt. It also happens that resentment can grow against the spouse just like in the death of a child. When the feelings experienced are too intense, it may result in somatic and psychological disorders that require professional help.

In summary, it will be very difficult to get past this event, surround yourself with people you trust, try to keep a close relationship with your spouse and help one another as far as you can. Moreover, especially never hesitate to ask the help of an appropriate person.