Begin a search for the right funeral home by looking online or in the yellow pages. Most often choosing a funeral home is easier to do before the loss of a loved one occurs. The right choice in a funeral home may be the one that is closest to where you live. You may also consider choosing a funeral home that you have dealt with in the past. If you had positive experiences with a previous funeral home for a family member or loved one that would probably be the one to use this time. Call the funeral home and set up a meeting with the funeral director to discuss all the plans and the financial arrangements. Make sure you have a good rapport with the funeral director and that he/she understands your wishes and expectations. Walk around the funeral home to make sure the areas are large enough to accommodate your family and friends comfortably. You may want to check out their furnishings too. The furnishings need to be in pristine condition and looking bright and friendly to offset the sad tone during the visitation.

Typically a cremation ceremony follows the procedures of a normal funeral. There is usually a visitation period, or wake, before the funeral unless the family requests not to have one. The funeral proceeds in the usual and customary way. The difference with the cremation is seen after the funeral service. The friends and family do not gather at the cemetery at this time. Instead most families gather at their home to meet and greet their guests. The body is taken right after the funeral service to be cremated in the casket or an urn if the casket was rented. A private or public service may take place when taking the remains to their final resting spot.

The experience of grief is very personal and different for every person. There have been four distinct phases defined in the grieving process. It has been written that everyone who is grieving will move through these four phases at some time at their own pace. There is no time line from the beginning to the end of this period of grief. Grieving is a journey that cannot be avoided and has to be taken. Sometimes one or two of the phases will be out of order or even skipped altogether. Every one is unique and whatever the path traveled in grief, it is your path and the right one for you.

In the first phase there will be an immediate feeling of shock or numbness. This feeling of shock or numbness enables the grieving person to emotionally survive. The next phase is a yearning for your loved one with the hope of their return. During this phase, experiences will include some confusion, anger, anxiety, and crying. Then the grieving person enters the third phase in which there is a desire to withdraw from life and the routine of life. The grieving person is not interested in their once enjoyed previous activities. In the last stage the grieving person enters into a new reorganizing period of their life. Life will forever be changed but the despair is replaced by fond memories. It takes time to recover and go on with the job of living. Life marches on whether you are ready or not.